I’m far from the perfect father. I’m sure I violate conventional and new wisdom all the time. I’m not sure I agree with all that “wisdom” so I try to be aware of it, but it doesn’t usually doesn’t affect my day-to-day. However, there are some areas in which I know I need to improve. The number 1 is yelling / raising my voice. I have done this since I was a little kid. When situations frustrate me I raise my voice and after a certain level of frustration it turns to yelling.
I think I’ve made some strides in this area since Mari was diagnosed with Autism. It made me realize how it didn’t really help any situation, but it is such a long engrained habit that it is tough to break. One strategy that has helped me is to hug whichever girl I’m frustrated with before talking to her. I learned this strategy as a way to reset Mari when she was having sensory difficulties and it also works with Emiko, likely because it calms me down as much as anything.