There are a lot of incomplete answers to the the question, “What is really wrong with sex outside of marriage?’ and all of them came to mind last night when Emiko asked me that question last night. We were studying Luther’s Small Catechism and I asked if she had any questions about any of the Ten Commandments. Surprisingly, I was only mildly panicked as to how I was going to answer her. I knew the answers I had from when I was young (It’s just wrong) wouldn’t fly or even if it got me out of the immediate situation, it wouldn’t prepare her to answer the question when she was faced with the situation in real life.
We had just talked about how the first 3 Commandments are about loving God and the last 7 are about loving your neighbor (the two tables of the Law). So not lying about other people, not hurting other people, and not stealing are how we love people. She then could draw the line that not committing adultery was also loving people.
But how is waiting till marriage loving? We talked about the emotional hurt having sex outside a life-long commitment can be. We talked about the consequence of a pregnancy and how not having a family to raise a child in is not loving. I don’t think we’ve exhausted this topic, but I think we have a good foundation and framework for keeping this discussion alive between us and as the father of a new teenager, I think that’s what I’m most happy about.